Tyler Gibb – Writer, Director, Editor, Filmmaker

I went to a bit of concert the other night – a musical performance, small, casual but ultimately very well executed. I went in order to support some of the musicians who were performing, musicians I’ve come to know and respect not only for their skills but for who they are as people.

Good people.

Behind the scenes here Vidya (actress, musician – Refrain) and I have been putting together some refangled recordings of the songs from Refrain and in doing so we’ve met some great musicians who have agreed to help us out. Now their reasons for doing this is their own but to me, they will always be considered good people for coming on board. Lending their time and their talents to our little project.

Same goes for the musicians involved in what has become known around here as the Refrain Side Project (more on that soon…).

Good people.

These are the people you need around you. From the very beginning, one year ago when we started casting for Refrain it was the good people who got involved – from our cast through to people who offered up locations – that made things work.

I know this all sounds kind of  obvious. But I bring it up because I think it’s easy when you’re struggling to get your project made to fall victim to the lure of the opposite of good people. People who may try to exploit you. I’ve been fortunate enough – or perhaps wary enough – not to have let this happen but I can see how it could. So I say, hold out for the good people. They are out there.

And of course, be a good person too. It will be noted and remembered.

I’m in a valley.

The phone isn’t ringing, the inbox is empty, uncertainty seems more certain than anything else at the moment.

A valley.

When you find yourself in a valley the best thing to do is nothing. Don’t fight it. Use it.

It’s easy to grow concerned about the valleys. To worry about whether or not you’ll ever find your way out. But if I’ve learned anything in my observation of the chaos we call civilization it’s that the valleys are as sure to come along as the peaks. And like the peaks, they are only temporary. Also like the peaks, when you’re in a valley, there is only one direction you can find yourself in when it inevitably ends.

This is not sorrow or a lament. This is reflection. There are many things to do and I am busy doing them in the shadow of whatever peak draws ever closer.

Tyler

I like to think I’m the type of person who isn’t swayed by public opinion. I don’t really care what others think, or say. And for the most part I can procure hard evidence to this effect; my wardrobe for example… I am none the less aware that in squeezing and clawing my way up the echelon of the entertainment business that the approval of others – strangers in particular – can be quite validating.

But I guess that’s the business isn’t it? Sure, sure, art for art’s sake sounds great over wine and cheese and bullshit but filmmakers do what they do to have their films seen don’t they? The approval of others – of strangers – is a pretty important part of the package.

I’m not recommending that you hang on the whims and opinions of the masses or even the select few. But sometimes I think it’s alright to just enjoy a little vote of confidence.

Doubt is a killer.

Do you know why I don’t update this blog? No, no, other than the fact that blogs are retarded.

I don’t update this blog because I doubt anyone is reading it.

And if they are — if you are — I doubt you’ll put much stock into what I have to say.

Nor should you.

That was just the doubt talking.

Actually, the truth is, some of you maybe should put some stock into what I have to say. I’ve been places… Online. That is to say, I’ve had experiences. I recently chatted with a university student who litterally grew up watching my Boneland cartoons – he was telling me he was 12 when he first became a fan. I recently did a lecture for a hundred film and animation students at a local college… They called me “sir.” It was nice. So, yeah, I know things– I’ve had experiences, I have some wisdom to impart…

So why do I doubt that?

Maybe it’s because I’m pretty modest (which is such a cocky thing to say, isn’t it?) maybe it’s because I’m Canadian and we’re pretty much taught doubt in school… But I don’t know… I think there may be something more at play here than default Canuck humility. Doubt can be sneaky like that.

Maybe it’s the validation thing. Being in a creative field and very much only working for yourself most of the time means that there can be a bit of a dry-spell between ego-boosters sometimes. If you’re a factory worker or a cubical drone then I would imagine you feel some sense of accomplishment when you put together one hundred widgets in a day or punch in a hundred lines of data in a hour. And if not, you probably feel at least a little something validating about depositing your paycheck? Right?

Well, once upon a time I felt that validation daily. My inbox was full of glowing praise and the paychecks weren’t too shabby either. I could do anything.

No doubt about it.

But that was a while ago. And before you send me little pick-me-up emails telling me to stick to it tiger and the sun’s bound to come out eventually, let me finish:

I don’t need that pandering. I don’t need coddling… At least, no more than is healthy. What I need – what I think is the source of this recent bout of doubt – is work. Working is validating. I can create work for myself – always have – but back in the day that work led somewhere. It was read, viewed, commented-on, leased, bought, sold and not to be forgotten; paid the bills. But now it’s a new ballgame. I’ve launched myself into a new industry (along side many others at this time, I might add) and it’s brutal. It’s a brutal industry in a brutal time and the more I see of it the more I long for the days when my work was something to behold.

And I’m at a point right now where as a filmmaker I’m in a very ridiculous place to be: I’m waiting for the phone to ring. And to put in place the circumstances ideal for being in this ridiculous position, you have to work hard at inane, soul-destroying marketing work. Meaning that all your creativity begins to decay and crumble leaving behind an emptiness. And what washes in to fill the vapidity of that bygone factory of creation?

Doubt.

It’s a killer.

And I’m not trying to play you a lament for yours truly here. I’m trying to do what any good, modest yet cocky enough to think he’s got some wisdom to impart host would do on his very own blog… On his very own website… Bearing his very own name… Come to think of it, there’s really nothing modest about any of this is there? Anyway, what I’m trying to say is:

Prepare for the doubt.

It’s dark and scary and cold but here’s the good thing:

It’s just you.

It’s just you trying to pull one over on yourself. And the only reason you’re doing that is because you’re not working. Work is the answer. Keep working. Keep doing what you’re here to do.

Fight doubt by ignoring it… Not blogging about it.

Work starts now.

I know, I know… I’m a terrible blogger and even worse vlogger… What can I say? It’s been quiet around here lately. Where Refrain is concerned we’re still waiting to hear from film fests. In the mean time I’ve been working on an “official” trailer (much like the original “first glimpse” I put up months ago – just shorter – hey, if it ain’t broke!)

Other than that I’ve got nothin’. Nothing new for you fair web reader.

Got anything for me?